The first duty of love is to listen.
-Paul Tillich
The Talking Stick Saves Counseling Costs
A professional relationship counselor is actually a Talking Stick who talks. One of the main goals of a counselor is to assist a couple in how to communicate more fairly with each other. During most of the time in a counseling session the counselor acts as a referee between a couple by determining who talks and who listens.
Effective use of a Talking Stick can serve the same purpose as a counselor by acting as a symbol of fair and equal communication within your relationship. Sometimes it’s absolutely necessary and supportive for a couple to attend counseling sessions, but many times it can be sidestepped by simply learning to communicate fairly and more effectively with each other.
By communicating your differences with the safety of the Talking Stick, you will prevent the buildup of resentments which could cause a more serious collapse in your relationship down the road. The frequent use of the Talking Stick will assist you and your partner in clearing out stagnant emotions that have been blocking the path to increased passion and harmony in your relationship.
Native Americans used the Talking Stick as a way to let everyone speak their truth within a tribe or tribal meeting. It was used for centuries by many tribes in North America. It provided a means by which each individual in the tribe could speak to the other members of the tribe without interruption. When in a council, whoever held the stick also held the undivided attention of the tribe.
The concept of the Talking Stick is still very relevant in our modern times because it provides us with a formal procedure of communication that teaches us how to listen effectively to another. When holding the Talking Stick, we also feel encouraged to speak our truth in safety.
The Talking Stick is particularly handy when having conversations that are sensitive or emotional in nature. When our partner tells us something that we don’t like, we usually have an emotional reaction to what was said and the conversation can quickly change into a confrontation.
